I'm Back...and Where Have I Been?
It’s been three months since I’ve written a blog post. THREE! This has been a season of figuring out what the heck is even going on. I felt unmotivated to actually sit and type blog posts, but at the same time, I had these wonderful ideas but it seemed like I just couldn’t get it together. Have you ever felt that way? You saw what you needed to do but it’s like your feet were being covered with cement?
I’m going to fill y’all in on some things that have just been going on in my life, but also some beautiful realizations I’ve made and confirmations I have received about timing and purpose. I could go on and on for pages, but I’ll try to keep that under control (haha!).
This spring semester, my M.A. program in Conflict Management & Resolution decided to split into two 7-week sessions, and I took two classes each session, which also means I took four graduate classes in one semester. YEA...I KNOW. I mean, when I did my M.A. program in History, it was rigorous, intense, challenging, and extremely time-consuming, and I say that to also say that I know how to deal with an immense amount of work. But this semester was different. I think it’s because I’m married now, there’s more life going on, more responsibilities, and…I’m not 22 anymore. Good thing though is I learned quite a bit about mediation and communication, which goes well with my ultimate goal of educating people about history and social issues while also teaching them how to communicate, act, and listen effectively. Now my first year of my second M.A. program is over! (PRAISE!!)
Within the last month, I have become part of an organization in Wilmington called Be the Bridge. To make things even better, I’m on the Planning Team with several other inspiring and encouraging women who want to address racial division, have a passion for racial reconciliation, and also elevate the marginalized voices that need to be heard. It’s a national organization that was founded by LaTasha Morrison. She came to Wilmington for our Be the Bridge event we had this past Sunday called “Learn What It Really Means to Be Anti-Racist.” I actually did a ‘Teaching Moment’ during the program, defining racism, prejudice, white privilege, implicit bias, and others, for people to better understand what these words mean and the context behind them. I’ll share my talk with you all on a blog post later this week!
Anyway, God’s timing to present me with the opportunity to join Be the Bridge was definitely His timing. I went to my first Planning Team meeting in April, which was also the last month of my graduate program, and also when some other things in life were getting evened out. Basically, God knew what He was doing.
One thing I have found important is recognizing when something you prayed for in the past has come to fruition. Last summer I prayed for doors to be opened for me to use my gifts and passions to do God’s work. I see that now.
Me and my husband celebrated our first anniversary on April 14th! YAY! We took a trip to Charleston, SC and thoroughly enjoyed not having a schedule, being able to turn off our 6:00 a.m. alarms, perusing the streets, going to historic sites, eating all the good food, and partaking in happy hours! This first year of marriage has been wonderful, challenging, exciting, hard…and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I can’t even begin to explain the emotional and mental changes, self-evaluations, and step backs I have experienced. It really is something people can’t explain. There are negotiables and non-negotiables. There is compromise and then there is just not seeing eye to eye. But at the end of the day, it’s about choosing each other over and over again. It also does take a lot of work to understand what it truly means to be married, and how to also be yourself while in a marriage. Does that make sense? If it doesn’t, believe me when I say I’m still learning! Me and my husband had a serious disagreement over toilet tissue in the closet, y’all. Yes. You read that correctly. LOL!
A little over a month before our anniversary, my husband’s dad passed away. Knowing how to lean and depend on God prior to and during this was definitely necessary.
There are a couple of projects I’m starting too! Have you heard of “Humans of New York”? Well, I’m going to start something called “Hold These Truths: The People’s Perspective.” I’ll be doing a blog post about that soon. Basically I’ll be talking to people in Wilmington and surrounding areas (or wherever I go) about social issues and their perspective, and also anything they want to share. This is a project God has placed on my heart for quite some time now, and I can’t keep ignoring it. He has been nudging me constantly. I’m also going to start making and selling clay bead necklaces. This was on the back burner but I’m going to jump back into it!
In this season, I have also become aware of how close I am with God and how much he has transformed my mind in such a good way. It’s the kind of growth you don’t pay attention to until you’re in a situation and realize it has happened. It’s like God is pushing me to show Him how bold my faith is. There is a strength that only God can provide. There is a solace and reassurance only He can provide, too.
Imagine this for a second: You’re at a skating rink and your friends are there having a good time. They’re skating around the rink, and some of them are even doing some fancy tricks. You have your skates on and you’re standing at the edge of the rink, holding onto the threshold. You’ve practiced skating before and know you can do it. But you’re afraid you’re going to get out there on the rink with your friends, fall down, twist your ankle, break your wrist or arm, or get bad bruises, and then be in pain. You then start to think about all of the other consequences that come with being in pain…like what if you’re right-handed and you break your right wrist, and you’re left not being able to write or type which will prevent you from feeling independent? But on the other hand, you’re confident that if you get out there on the rink, you’ll do great, have fun with your friends, and if you fall, it won’t be bad because you know how to handle your body. Meanwhile, you’re still standing on the sidelines watching everyone having fun, but you can’t seem to move.
That’s what I’m feeling right now about a decision I’m trying to make while listening to God and mustering up the courage to step out on bold faith. Whew! It’s tough, y’all. I’ll share more with you in a later post, so definitely stay tuned for that one!
So, yea. There you have it. A little glimpse into what has been going on the last few months. I love all of the feedback and encouragement I get from y’all and others I run into and interact with. I’ve actually spent this morning working on my blog and Instagram schedule with posts and whatnot.
Thank you all for continuing to be supportive…and for being patient during my hiatus. I’m still over here fighting the good fight.